States of Confusion: Or Why I Am an Anglican Anabaptist Reformed Liberation Mystic

I would say that over the past few years I’ve dealt with some serious things in my life.  However, be them spiritual, psychological, emotional and or physical issues I would never say that I have experienced a “crisis of faith.”  Recently during my exodus from Arizona to my home state of Virginia, I’ve had many people inquire as to whether I still believe the same things I once professed.  For lack of a better explanation, I have always answered yes because I still believe the Apostles’ Creed and the Nicene Creed (although I will admit it doesn’t matter all that much to me whether the Spirit proceeds from the Father or the Son).  At the same time though, I find myself bouncing off the walls of theological and spiritual inquiry. 

For at least the last four years, I have heavily identified with Reformed (read Calvinist) theology.  I’ve taught classes at churches on theology, church history, comparative religion, and Postmodernism largely without encountering any cognitive dissonance in regards to what I believe.  I’ve always been open minded when it comes to theology because I usually just gravitate towards what seems to make the most sense.  That said, most of the people around me have not afforded themselves such luxury.  My uber-Reformed friends make a point to Tweet about every little thing they hear that bolsters neo-Calvinism and puts down “weak” theology (weak=feminine, abstract, or liberal).  Meanwhile I’m reading anything I can get my hands on and trying my best to take it all in.  My recent reading list has included, but is not limited too:

• The New Testament and the People of God by N.T. Wright
• The Politics of Jesus by John Howard Yoder
• A Theology of Liberation by Gustavo Gutiérrez
• Anarchy and Christianity by Jacques Ellul
• The Peaceable Kingdom by Stanley Hauerwas
• Strength to Love by Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Various books by Henri Nouwen
• The Violence of Love by Oscar Romero
• Ethics by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
• The Kingdom of God is Within You by Leo Tolstoy

I will fully admit that this list is probably not as diverse as it could be, but it does not comprise every book on theology I have ever read, just those I’ve read recently.

So what am I to do with what I’ve learned?  My first thought was to use my learning to educate those around me and strive for unity and discussion among believers (and I haven’t necessarily abandoned this initial thought completely).  But recently everywhere I turn I find people striving for exactly the opposite.  Don’t believe me?  Go on Twitter and search for Rob Bell.  Just the release of the title of his new book has made some people lose their minds!  Now I’ve been a rather outspoken critic of Mr. Bell in the past, but really people? At least I waited until I had a chance to read his book before I disagreed with him.  The Bell controversy is an obvious one.   Next, Google “N.T. Wright and John Piper.”  Read a few blogs and you will see that Piper seems to be pitting himself against Wright over what some would argue is a semantic argument.  Some crazies have almost asserted some sort of Matthew 16:19 argument insisting that Wright’s different view of justification threatens to release all Christians from assurance of salvation. 

I do not write this post to contribute anything to the discussion other than this.  The more I know, the more I know how much I do not know.  I plan on expounding upon this further, but I’d love some initial feedback.